The Power of Friendship: Building and Nurturing Connections as Adults
Friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures, yet making and maintaining friendships can be surprisingly difficult as adults. With busy schedules, family responsibilities, and the occasional self-doubt, it’s no wonder many of us struggle to foster meaningful connections. But the effort is worth it—strong relationships not only improve our mental health and reduce stress but also bring a profound sense of joy and purpose to our lives.
Here’s why friendship matters, how to make friends as an adult, and tips for keeping those connections alive and thriving.
Friendship and Connection Matter
In a world where loneliness is on the rise, friendships act as a lifeline. Studies show that strong social connections reduce the risk of depression and anxiety, improve heart health, and even lengthen our lifespan. Yet, the decline in meaningful friendships is startling—over the past three decades, the number of people reporting zero close friends has quadrupled. While this trend didn’t begin with COVID-19, the pandemic dramatically worsened it by isolating people, canceling gatherings, and pushing many into a digital-only social world.
This isn’t just affecting adults; our teens and tweens are facing similar struggles. Rates of loneliness and isolation are climbing in younger generations, too, and their ability to engage in face-to-face interactions is declining. As social media and texting replace in-person conversations, many young people are losing critical social skills, leaving them less prepared to form and maintain meaningful relationships. Real, face-to-face or one-on-one connections provide the kind of emotional support and bonding that likes and comments simply can’t replace—for any age group.
Making Friends as an Adult – Why It’s Hard and How to Start
Adulthood doesn’t come with the built-in social opportunities of school or college, and putting yourself out there can feel intimidating. But making friends is possible! Remember, if you’re looking for new connections, others are too—you just need to be brave enough to take the first step.
Here’s how to get started:
- Join Activities You Enjoy: Whether it’s a book club, gym class, church group, or volunteer organization, shared interests bring people together and give you something to talk about.
- Start Small: Deep conversations don’t need to happen right away. Begin with friendly small talk. Need help? Practice by asking easy, open-ended questions.
- Be Curious: Show genuine interest in others by asking about their hobbies, background, or weekend plans. Being a good listener makes people feel valued and naturally opens the door for connection.
- Follow Up: If you click with someone, don’t let the opportunity fade. Send a quick text or suggest meeting for coffee. If their schedule is tight, don’t take it personally—life is busy! Give it a couple of tries, and if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. Sometimes timing just isn’t right, and it’s not a reflection of your worth.
Making friends as an adult takes time, but every effort gets you closer to building meaningful, lasting connections. Be patient, stay open, and trust the process!
Nurturing Your Friendships
Building friendships is just the beginning—nurturing them is what keeps them strong. Life can get busy, and it’s easy to let relationships take a backseat, but small, intentional efforts can make a big difference:
- Check In Regularly: A quick text or call to ask how they’re doing shows you care. I also love using apps like Marco Polo to stay connected with friends who aren’t local—it’s a fun way to stay in the loop.
- Schedule Quality Time: Even if life is hectic, carving out time for coffee dates, walks, or shared hobbies can keep your bond strong. It doesn’t have to be frequent, but consistency is key.
- Celebrate Milestones: Whether it’s a birthday, promotion, or personal achievement, take the time to celebrate. If you see a friend post good news on social media, send a quick text like, “Hey, I saw you got a promotion—congrats! When do you start?” Small acknowledgments go a long way.
- Be Honest and Open: Vulnerability builds trust and deepens connections, but it’s important to approach this thoughtfully. Share your feelings and lean on your friends when needed, but avoid oversharing early on. Start with small, meaningful moments of openness, and ensure your friend is a safe and reciprocal space before diving too deep.
- Friendships, like any relationship, thrive when we invest time, care, and thought into them. A little effort can create bonds that last a lifetime!
Be a Good Friend to Yourself
Start with yourself. To be a good friend and attract relationships that are fulfilling, loving, and reciprocal, you first need to build a caring and loving relationship with yourself. When you nurture your own well-being, you create the energy and space to truly connect with others. This allows you to bring authentic, open, and balanced energy to your interactions rather than one that feels needy or draining. Practice self-compassion and prioritize self-care—you have the power to create the best version of yourself. That version will naturally draw meaningful friendships into your life!
The Challenge
This week, take one small step to strengthen your connections. Reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or join an activity where you can meet new people. Building relationships takes effort, but they bring joy, support, and a sense of belonging, making it all worthwhile.
So go ahead—text that friend, schedule that coffee date, or smile at someone new. You never know where one small action might lead!
