I was having a conversation with one of my clients recently and she asked me about an article where I state that Willpower isn’t real. That it’s motivation, not willpower that creates real change. She said didn’t feel like that was true. In fact, she feels like will-power as strong motivator. And that willpower is something that must be used and strengthened for it be work effectively.
Webster’s defines Willpower as: the ability to control yourself: strong determination that allows you to do something difficult.
So I took a look back at my Reset article and changed up the wording to more accurately reflect my thoughts about where willpower fits into the process of creating change.
Willpower isn’t something you either have or you don’t, we all have it, but to get good at using it, we have to exercise those willpower muscles and thank them strong and resilent (making ourselves strong and resilient at the same time)
Ok, how do we do this?
Well, the simple answer is, take action.
I say that, and make it sound so easy, starting the “taking action” part is tricky. It’s tricky, because so much emotion baggage and habits can create blocks. And these blocks influence our motivation, which is the starting place of change.
Knowing your Motivations and being fully invested in our the reasons we are wanting to change, allows us to have the discipline to start making different and often difficult choices. For example, if you want to change your eating and exercise habits to help you change your body because you are “tired of being an ugly, worthless, fat, slob”…well, to say the least, this is very unmotivating in the long term. Yes, you can power through some hungry days and kill yourself with some brutal workouts for a couple days, even weeks, but ultimately you will succumb to “not having enough willpower”. But really it’s not willpower that is in question, it is the motivation. Because no one wants to work hard for (or against) a worthless slob and the mean girl in your head. And you because your soul knows you aren’t a fat worthless slob, it can’t be fully invested.
However, if you want to change because you are a magnificent person who deserves to treat herself with more love and respect, and you want to start making activity and food choices from that place. Then your mean inner critic becomes a compassionate loving cheerleader, that remind that you are awesome, of how far you have come and that you can do it. This feels good and this is true about each of us.
And this cheerleader will help you create the discipline you need to meet your goals.
Know, there is no mistaking that creating discipline is hard work and is uncomfortable because we a making different, hard choices and changing, is hard biologically speaking, because we humans aren’t very comfortable with change.
And when I am talking hard choices, one big pit falls I see is creating the discipline is saying no to instant gratification in favor of meeting long-term goals. For Example, it is more instantly gratifying to catch up on your recorded DVR shows than spending that hour writing 1000 words towards your long-term goal of writing a book. But when you do it, it feels good, I mean really good (don’t forget to acknowledge these small wins!) and the next time you choose to write instead of watching TV, it doesn’t feel as hard and you know (because you acknowledged it) the result is worth the sacrifice. Then at the end of the work week, you can look back and you have written 5,000+words already, you can see the results of your hard work and you are becoming a better writer, you have gained confidence in your abilities, exercised your willpower and you are that much closer to your goal. All this from taking action once, I know you can so it again (and a new habit forms, but that will be for a different article )
Action leads to Confidence & Confidence leads to Action.
You have taken action on creating your dreams by discovering and purifying your motivation, which allows you to create the discipline to stay committed to your goals, which works your willpower muscles which results in (big) change.
Motivation + Discipline + Commitment + Willpower = Change
And this is all within your power. #YouGotThis
So get out there, start creating the change you desire! You and your dreams are worth it!
Fly friends!
XO,
Sally
P.S. One last thing, lasting change can only be created and fully enjoyed when it is done with a compassionate spirit and loving intention. You are making these changes because you want to love yourself and your life more fully, and that can not exist with self-hatred, so monitor your thoughts.
