How often have you told yourself?
“I am so fat”
“Uggg, I look ugly”
“I can’t do this?”
“Why do I always forget_____?”
“I am not that likable”
“If only I were different…things would be better”
“I should just give up, I won’t succeed”
“I am a terrible mother/wife/friend/person”
Wow I could go on forever! Mainly, because I have said all these things and more to myself, at one time or another. For many, many years my self debasement was centered around my body image and self, because blaming my body for my feelings of inadequacy was an easy and comfortable go-to. It often took the form of “I am so fat”, “I am so ugly” and “Why can’t I lose weight” “Loser”. I have worked for many years and made a hard-fought, conscious effort to love myself and address these unfounded, hurtful and spirit-killing thoughts and self-beliefs. I made the choice to be happy right where I was, the way I looked/acted/spoke then. I learned to treat myself to healthy food and physical activity, instead of using these things to feed my self-abuse. The cycle of self-abuse and self-loathing is a hard one to break, because it gives us a connection to ourselves and allows us to stay comfortable. It is often the go-to when things aren’t “going right”…focusing on this is often easier than addressing what is really going on, that is making us unhappy. This thought pattern becomes our norm and although it makes us unhappy, it is what we have always done, so feels familiar.
We all fall into behavior patterns with the people around us… this is true for our behavior patterns in regards to our self too. Ask yourself, ” Is this behavior pattern what you want for someone you love?” Love yourself first.
It starts today. This minute.
I love these words from Gandhi:
Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our character, our character becomes our destiny.”
What destiny are you designing for yourself?
