I was introduced to this video, when mom called me up and said, “I emailed you some videos by this woman, they are great! You have to watch them!” I was at the grocery store at the time, so I said “Ok, I will watch them when I get home. ”
Well, didn’t and I forgot. When during the next week, I was at the gym and was going to jump on the treadmill for a run. Running on the treadmill is soul-sucking work in my opinion, but it was raining outside, and so I didn’t have much choice. The one good thing about running on the treadmill is that I can catch up on my shows on the iPAd while I am running. I was just about to turn on an episode of The White Queen from Starz ( I’m sucker for Historical Romance!), when I remembered the Youtube video my mom told me about, The Power of Vulnerability by Dr. Brene’ Brown, so I decided to watch that instead.
It was awesome! Dr. Brown is brilliant, genuine and insightful. And her message strongly resonated with me. In fact, if you haven’t noticed yet, let me tell you, I am (as my husband calls it) an extreme emotions feeler. I feel things strongly, and often I feel myself bursting with strong feelings (mostly good, but I can get heated too! #human). Well, while I was running on the treadmill at my local YMCA (during the evening rush no less) I was watching this video and literally throwing up my hands in the air in a Hallelujah type of gesture. It was awkward to watch I am sure! The people around me probably thought I was a crazy person, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t help it, it was that brilliant!.
Here, watch for yourself:
Right?! Pretty powerful hum! She has a second video (here), which I watched later that night, at home where I could flail my arms to my hearts content. Again, Dr. Brown’s message was excellent! But I want to focus on the first video today and share some of the points I thought were so powerful and insightful.
Dr. Brown has a Ph.D in Social Work and studies Connection. Meaning she studies the Power of Vulnerability.
She says that as humans, one of our core needs is connection. But for true connection with each other, we have to allow ourselves to be “seen”. When I say “Seen”, I don’t mean “looked at” I mean really “seen” for “who” we are.
But this being “seen” makes us vulnerable and exposed, and that is a painful place for many of us. And in our world today, we often see Vulnerability as weakness, so we numb this vulnerability. We numb ourselves through:
- Over-spending – buying
- Over-eating
- Using drugs and alcohol.
- Being in Control – trying to make everything that is uncertain, certain
- Perfectionism
- Pretending and Justifying – no taking responsibility for our actions. Dismissing our effect on each other.
But the thing is, we can’t just numb our feelings of vulnerability. We also numb or joy, gratitude and happiness. Which leaves us feeling sad, discontent and looking for purpose and meaning in our lives, which then makes us feel vulnerable again, so we need to numb again.
This was the “Holy Shoot” moment for me(really said the other word, but I wanna keep it clean, because this is a family program)! I knew this cycle to be true for myself and can see it in action all around me!
But being able to identify this cycle in ourselves is a gift, and allows us to stop the cycle and grow. #awareness #choice
Brene’ Brown explains that in her research those people who were not trapped in this cycle of vulnerability had one thing in common. That commonality was a Strong sense of love and belonging. They believed they were Worthy of Love and Belonging.
Worthiness.
Where do we gain this sense of Worthiness and Belonging? We must have:
- Courage– have the courage to “see” ourselves and be “seen” by others, in all our “imperfectness“
- Compassion – Be kind and compassionate to ourselves and to others. Only those with the ability to be compassionate to themselves can ever really be compassionate to others.
- Connection – Let go of who you think you should be, in order to be who you are. This allows for real connection based on authenticity.
- Love – Love with our whole hearts, with no guard and with no guarantee.
- Believe – Believe you are enough
You are Enough
So let’s get vulnerable people!
Be courageous, have compassion, love unconditionally (ourselves and others) and believe in your own Worthiness
This is my wish for you.
Lots of Love,
Sally
P.S. It is my greatest wish to make a difference in this world. And for me that difference will come through love, passion, and wisdom. So please if this have impacted you, please share this message. Because changes starts with just one soul, one person. You. The power to change the world is in our hands every moment of everyday.
